The Gardener and the Carpenter: What the New Science of Child Development Tells Us About the Relationship Between Parents and Children

Another good book by an author I like. Best when on her strong points, science and philosophy, weakest when drifting into politics and her personal life (not to disparage connecting with her audience).

The main thesis here is that modern 'parenting' (the lifestyle and industry) is flawed, and that being a caring parent is far more beneficial to all concerned. So not constructing a productive future worker but creating a safe space where they can explore the world independently. Solid, backed up by good science and reasoning.

The science is modern, top draw and explaining beautifully. A few highlights include how climate change caused humans long before we did it back. Our key adaption as sapiens is described as an ability to adapt to variability, to changes in any environment, not to a change in an environment. Interesting thought.

More specifically on children the key role of play and pretending is explored. Open play interpreted as testing the world, demonstrating how smart kids are more interested when their thorey of world is challenged. Pretending is shown to develop theory of mind, with those who predend more (including imaginary friends) developing stronger insights here. (As is reading fiction, especially literary fiction, in adults - it increased empathy and facial expression spotting. Very interesting.) It is shown how terrible it is to grow up without play and playmates.

Childrens acute sensitivity to teaching, is expertly demonstrated. They know when they are being instructed as opposed to simply exploring a new thing with someone, and thus will follow, but won't explore past the instruction...the lesson here being to let them explore - at least often and when appropriate.

Shout out for the New Caledonia crows! Using tools to make tools, incredibly smart, stemming from a huge 2 year childhood, where they play and explore, test and fail.

It could be said there is a little too much personal information, though it does for with the book. While the touch of politics, even though I generally agree, is very US focused and does not fit in with the rest of the book as well.